Dating a bisexual male
I spent the first two decades of my life living as a closeted trans woman — a bisexual male to the outside world.2.I have since transitioned, and now live as a bisexual woman.Boys, on the other hand, learn to define romance as a verb — something they must actively do to earn a girl’s affections.This socialization has immediate implications for all queer romance, but presents an even greater obstacle for a potential lesbian and bisexual pairing, as illustrated by the following quote from a very good friend of mine (who’s also a bi woman):“Honestly, I don’t even like men all that much. But they make me feel wanted and desired in a way that very few women ever do.Or could it be that, when it comes to romance between queer women, the game has been rigged from the start?Like many stereotypes, the lived experiences of one group have almost certainly colored the perceptions of another, however unfairly or inaccurately.
A lot of men say they want that in a woman, but that has certainly not been my experience!
As a result, is it really so hard to see why some gay women might feel wary or reluctant to begin a relationship with a bisexual woman?
Recently, I sat down for coffee with a lesbian acquaintance of mine who’d been dumped a month earlier by a bi woman. ”After thinking on it for a moment, I told her that I didn’t.
And while the sheer number of available partners may explain some aspect of why bi women partner more frequently with men, the heteronormative socialization described above is almost certainly as responsible, if not more so, for this phenomenon.
But an even more insidious hurdle to a bi and lesbian pairing is plain, old fashioned misogyny — the disdain for the feminine vs. For instance, accusations of deceit are leveled at bi women as well as bi men, ostensibly insulting both groups equally: Bi women are actually straight, and bi men are actually gay.As a result one rarely hears these concerns echoed in the gay male community; why would a gay man ever fear losing his bi male partner to a woman?