Young widowed and dating
It was obvious that for many single women my situation was way too complicated.
After a while, this series of let-downs became rather depressing.
And so I launched myself tentatively into the online dating scene, a brave new world to me.
There are so many dating sites out there and it became obvious that there is something for all objectives.
People say that the death of a loved one, loss of a job and moving house are three of the most stressful situations – and we had to endure all three at the same time.
I'm 39, and like many younger bereaved people, I've had to get used to a word I never thought would apply to me: widower.
The paying sites such as Match, Zoosk and Soulmates seemed far better in terms of the quality of conversation and there was a greater level of trust, gained by the security of knowing everyone had entered credit card details.
Reactions to my situation online were as varied as in real life – ranging from sympathy to avoidance, inquisitiveness and morbid curiosity. And if they did want kids, there must be plenty more eligible bachelors out there.
If the complexity of my situation put doubts in my own mind, no wonder it was ringing alarm bells among the women I was chatting with online.